It's Not a Crush
by ourlittleinfinity21
Summary: There is not enough Josh and Maya fics, SO random Josh and Maya drabbles because I love them. Other pairings too, but focuses on Joshaya!
1. Chapter 1

"Maya?"

I could feel her delicate fingers against the middle of my back.

"It's going to be ok," she whispered.

I didn't notice when I closed my eyes, but I did notice that for the very first time, I didn't believe her. The smile that graced my lips was maybe a little forced , but this is what I do and for her, I'd pretend.

"I hope you're right Riley." I looked over at Riley for the first time since she dragged me to the bay window. Her eyes were full of guilt, regret, pain, love, and compassion. The capacity and depth of her feelings always did amaze me.

"Would I ever lie to you Peaches?" Her lips pulled back into a smile and I almost believed her, almost. I knew though and so did she that nothing and I mean nothing, would ever be the same. Gentle taps against the door diverted her attention if only for a second.

"Riley?"

My posture stiffened and a sour taste was left in my mouth at the sound of his voice.

"Oh, hi Maya."

I hadn't realized I had my eyes clamped shut. I didn't even realize I was clutching onto the cushions of the bay window until I felt Riley's fingers gently run over my knuckles trying to ease out the tension coursing through my fingers. I opened my eyes and looked at our hands swallowing the pain. My eyes shot up to his.

"Huckleberry." His name came out as a forced whisper. I couldn't bring myself to fake a smile for him the way I could for Riley and I couldn't tell you why. I dropped my head and closed my eyes. I tried to regulate my breathing. I tried to fight the overwhelming sadness that just consumed me, the sadness that came now with looking at both Riley and Lucas. I tried to fight the urge to cry. My grip on the cushions tightened as I felt the tears building behind my eyelids and the weight on my chest.

I didn't even hear Riley calling out for me as I pushed myself out of her window before either of them could see me cry, see me be weak. My feet met pavement at the most rapid rate my legs would allow. I had no idea where I was going, if I was even going anywhere until I ended up on the subway. I sat alone brushing away silent tears from my face while staring absently out the window.

"Maya?"

I wiped furiously at my face even though I'm sure he's already seen my disaster of a self. I couldn't even look at him. I held my hands together after rubbing my face and forced a smile at my hands.

"Maya."

I felt him slide on to the seat next to me, shifting his fram to face me. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I let out an unsteady breath before letting out an irregular sounding chuckle.

"You know I'm starting to think you live on the subway." A timely silence followed almost as if he was calculating his next move. I opened my eyes after the silence began to become unbearable.

"It's the best place to catch ferrets, well here and my brother's place." He smiled at me as I let out the first genuine chuckle of the night. His thumb slowly ran against my cheek wiping away one of my stray tears.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked removing his hands from my face with a dazed look on his own.

"High school sucks." He laughed lightly at my observation.

"Well it is almost over." He noted running his hands through his brown locks.

"Not soon enough." I muttered fixating my gaze out the window.

We stayed in silence for a few seconds before I sighed, "does college suck less?"

His dark eyes observed my face for a second before answering.

"It can."

My eyebrows scrunched together.

"Sounds promising." His lips pulled back slightly.

"Maya, it is what you make it. Don't like something? Change it." He shrugged as if it was merely that simple.

"Mr. Matthews says that change comes from people, that people change people." I answered fixing my eyes on his once more. He gave me a lop-sided smile and responded, "He's right. People do change people, which is why some people come and go Maya. People can change people for better or worse. It's just up to you to decide which people are which and where to start making your changes."

"I don't think I like change. Growing up is so difficult." I whispered. I didn't really think he heard me until he lightly touched my arm.

"Well change is inevitable," he got up and went around to the door, " and guess what? Maya you're still gorgeous, so maybe growing up is difficult but worth it." He rubbed the back of his head throwing me the trademark Matthews smirk before walking off of the subway.

I smiled at his retreating form and forgot even just for a minute why I was upset in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

_I like you._

Josh groaned in frustration, clamping his eyes shut and rolled over to his side. His bed was doing him no justice in the sleep department tonight.

 _I like you._

The three simple words were a mantra in his head, in her voice. The sincerity in her tone, the conviction of her stare haunted his thoughts, have haunted his thoughts for weeks.

 _I see the way you are with Auggie._

He had always known that Maya would look for him and at him at the Matthew's residence, but he never actually knew that she was really seeing him.

 _You drive from Philadelphia to New York ot even looking to see if you got into NYU just so you could open your acceptance letter in front of your brother because you love him and want him to be proud of you._

Josh flipped on to his back throwing his covers off of his restless body. He massaged his temple attempting to relieve his thoughts of her, but knowing it was impossible.

 _I like you._

His hands shook ever so slightly as they covered his face in exasperation. How did this happen? How could this happen? She was 14 for godsakes. He knew it was wrong to even think about this. He is going to be a legal adult next year. He knew it was wrong alright, but somehow that knowledge _felt_ wrong. He groaned into his hands one last time before harshly condemning himself, "what is wrong with you Matthews?"

Josh laughed somewhat cynically before recognizing why he kept thinking about this.

He likes her too.

 _I'm in it for the long game._

Josh smiled at the memory of family game night and how she had put her self out there multiple times with him.

"The long game." Josh smiled faintly, closed his eyes, and new it was going to be a rough next day with morning classes and all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, so this is just something I wrote up after watching Ten Things I Hate About You, sigh, love that movie! I own nothing!**

"I hate you Josh."

Josh froze at her words. The chill that ran down his body stiffened his posture almost immediately. His eyes hesitantly found hers and he took half a step backwards at the truth he saw in her eyes that were layered with unshed tears.

"You-you don't mean that." His head shook side to side in denial, his voice laced with hesitance.

Maya scoffed at the stupid boy in front of her. She pulled her eyes away from his and bit down on the bottom right corner of her lip nodding her head back to his direction. As soon as she caught his eyes again she spoke with a new found sense of clarity, "I do."

Josh watched in utter despair as Maya turned around and left him alone in the middle of her prom.

"Lucas?"

Lucas spared one last glance at the parting blonde before kissing Riley softly on the forehead. She smiled at the contact breathing him in.

"Go over there Riley. Be with your best friend." His hands slowly ran up and down her arms before holding her an arm's length away.

"But what about Prom?" Her head tilt to the side her brown eyes searching his for any indication that he really didn't want her to go. Lucas looked over Riley's shoulder and nodded a smirk playing at his lips.

"I had a good time," he whispered in her ear giving her one final chaste kiss.

Riley's eyes lit up at his choice of words and let out a chuckle. Time to find the other blonde in her life.

Riley found Maya in a stoic state outside of the venue where Prom was being held. She was on a stone bench facing the gardens, staring into the gardens as if she were lost in its depths.

"Peaches?"

Maya shook her head and let her head fall back letting out a tearful laugh.

"Hope is for suckers."

Riley smiled sadly at her best friend and went to sit next to her on what appeared to be a make shift bay window.

"Maya it's ok to hope for something."

Maya nodded her head violently interrupting Riley's words, "You are right Riley. It is ok to hope for something because I'm wrong it's not hope it's disappointment."

She smiled cynically, "Hope and disappointment. Would you look at that? It's me and you in a nutshell."

Riley's face morphed into one of utter disbelief and nudged Maya roughly with her shoulder, "Maya Penelope! That's not true and you know it!"

The silence enveloped the two friends as Maya finally let nights events consume her. Tears started to shed without permission.

"I hate him." The tone in her voice broke Riley's heart.

"Maya-"

"No, Riley I hate him." She stood up abruptly clutching on to her bare arms.

"I hate all of him!" Her voice picked up and the anger was beginning to present itself.

"I hate the way he wears that stupid jacket and that stupid beanie everywhere. I hate the way he turns everything into a joke and can never take anything seriously. I hate the way he spends so much time getting ready and I hate the way he is always looking at other girls. I hate him Riley!"

"You don't hate me Maya." Joshua Matthews looked over at his niece and smiled curtly at her.

She spared a look between the two before silently excusing herself. Maya begged Riley not to go with her eyes, but Riley refused to look at her. They both watched Riley go in silence. Josh's eyes never left her form and spoke again after Riley was out of ear shot. He tried again stepping closer to her this time.

"You don't hate me Maya."

She hugged herself and nodded her head in disagreement, "yes I do."

"No you don't and let me tell you why." She looked up at his statement and just stared at the boy.

"I only wear this stupid jacket," he started pulling off his jacket, "when I know I'm going to be around you because I need something to give you when you get cold." He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders and rested his hands on her arms.

"I know this is your favorite one. I only turn everything into a joke so I can see that gorgeous smile," he whispered still rubbing his hands up her arms.

"I only spend so much time getting ready so that you can look at me like I'm the only guy you will ever look at. I spend so much time getting ready for _you_ Maya." His arms dropped to his sides as he stepped closer to her completely disregarding any type of space Maya had hoped for.

"You only ever see me looking at other girls Maya because I can't ever let you catch me looking at you because Maya, that's all I ever do." His voice securely wrapped around her and brought her this inner warmth she couldn't deny. Her eyes never left his.

"You want to know what I hate most?" Josh flinched at the word hate. Maya's gaze dropped down to their feet.

"I hate that I am so in love with you." Her eyes hesitated in finding his, but when they found each other a wide grin spread across his face and Maya knew, she knew that this, him, was real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok, so I've been getting requests to extend some of these stories and I can understand why some people would want me to. It's in our nature as readers to want to know more, haha, but there's a reason I don't do full on stories guys. I have the attention span of a fly's lifetime aka it's very short lived. I'll literally start something and I won't finish and there's no way I would ever want to do that to any reader. I've been that reader who gets disappointed when the writer doesn't finish what they began. Drabbles are safe for me because my love for Josh and Maya is unconditional and it let's me write them in ways where I won't get bored. This doesn't mean that I won't ever extend any of these chapters into a multi chapter, but for now I'm not going to. I love this pair, and you guys too much. That said, here's another. Enjoy!**

"Josh?"

Maya's head rested against his chest. She was aimlessly tracing the lines of his plaid shirt waiting for him to respond. She giggled as he merely grunted hugging her closer to his chest. She tilted her head up so she was able to rest her face in the crook of his neck. She inhaled and reveled at the combinations of smells that were Joshua Mattews- leather and outdoors. She laughed at the pure irony of what she was doing. There was a day where she criticized Riley on sniffing Huckleberry and basking in his scent. Her nose followed the curve of his neck until she came to the bottom of his earlobe where she left a small kiss. The palm of her hand pressed against his chest as she rose enough to lean on her elbow. She couldn't wait to paint this picture. He was beautiful. She made note of every part of his face, his eyebrows, his hair, that stupid beanie that she adored, his eyes when he was at peace, and his lips. Oh, how she loved those lips. She tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, caressing the right side of his face and placed her lips on his gently.

"Alright, alright. I'm awake, you win." He groaned as Maya pulled her lips away. When he opened his eyes Maya grinned, "always do." His eyes narrowed at her a smirk playing at his lips.

"Is that so?"

She nodded smiling brightly at the boy who was now under her.

"So." She confirmed kissing him on the cheek. Josh rolled them both over so he was now leaning over Maya and he lowered his lips to her ear.

"You only win because I let you win Gorgeous." The heat of his whisper sent chills down her arms. He pulled away enough to look her in the eyes.

"Case 1." He smiled before pinning Maya down and tickling her sides. The shock hit Maya in strides, and so did the relentless laughing. Her once long hair now rested above her shoulders and was layered. Her head thrashed side to side in laughter.

"J-jo-josh, o-o-ok." She laughed as his fingers played with her ticklish spots.

"Say it Maya." He warned with no warrant behind his voice.

"Y-you you win!" She yelled into her laugh. His fingers stopped with the tickling and settled into caressing motions.

"Have I ever told you that you have a gorgeous smile?" He laughed smiling down at her crookedly.

Maya gleamed at him before remembering her earlier thoughts.

"Josh?" He lifted his eye brows in response sitting up alongside her.

"We've been together for over a year now."

"Fourteen months to be exact." He bumped her shoulder playfully. She smiled at the brunette and continued, "right- and I was a sophomore in college before we decided to try this out."

"Maya?"

Maya couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips at his confused face. The pout on his lips and the pull of his eyebrows was something she has grown to adore.

"Sense and Sensibility," Maya looked over at the ocean they were sitting in front of, "I have just been thinking a lot about 7th grade English."

Josh nodded slowly not quite understanding where this conversation was going.

"Uh- ok?" Maya shot him a playful glare before explaining herself to him. Josh rubbed the back of his neck and shot her a smile which Maya responded by rolling her eyes.

"If you were to look up sensibility in the dictionary my face would be there." Maya tried to explain. "Remember when Riley and I snuck out to go to your first college party?" She asked hopefully.

Josh's laugh echoed around them.

"How could I not?" He inched his hand closer to hers and slowly intertwined their hands.

"I didn't think things through. I've always acted on my emotions and-"

"Maya that's what I love about you." Her eyes cut to his.

"I love that you speak from the heart and not from the head. I love that you act on instinct and don't overthink things. I love that you're sensible." Josh squeezed her hand bringing it up to his lips and placing a small kiss on it. Maya tossed her legs over his legs so she could face him as she spoke.

"Why did you never actually turn me down all those years ago?" Maya asked curiously. Josh smiled at his girlfriend and finally understood.

"Sense _and_ Sensibility Maya. I never actually turned you down because I did like you. I just knew that I shouldn't or couldn't like, like you yet. You know Cory once told me that one day I'd find my own Topanga some day. I don't think I had expected to until that night you and Riley showed up at that party. The night that your sensibility forced my sense."

Maya grinned, "So you liked me!"

His smile pulled ear to ear.

"I still do and I always will."


	5. Chapter 5

**This one was turning into a monster, so it's going to be two parts. Here's part 1 and part 2 should be up soon! I know it's a lot of Lucas/Maya, but bear with me!**

"Lucas we should get to class."

He gave her a pointed look. Since when does she care about classes that had nothing to do with art? His eyebrow slowly rose in question before Maya answered in a shrug.

"We are creeping towards our senior year," her smile was forced as she stepped around him, "and next year we will be seniors. It's probably about time that we start focusing on our studies." His torso turned to face Maya who was clutching her text book and avoiding his gaze. She leaned back on the soles of her feet and then rocked forward to the tips of her toes.

"So, uh let's go." Her arm flung over her shoulder as she pointed down the hall behind her. He cocked his head to the side and scrunched his face a bit while looking at her. She stared back at him while biting on the corner of her bottom lip, still rocking back and forth. His eyes searched her own before a smirk enveloped his face. He took one step towards her closing any distance that was between them. He slowly lowered his head his lips hovering over hers.

"Let's be a little late today." He whispered staring at her pink lips. Lucas tugged Mayas jacket to pull her forward so she would close the distance between their lips. Lucas opened his eyes at not the touch of her lips on his, but her hand on his chest pushing him away from her, or rather stopping him from getting any closer.

"Lucas." She took a step back from him.

"Let's just go to class ok?" She smiled tightly, turned around and began the walk to History. He sat at his usual seat, behind her, as he had been doing everyday since 7th grade and tried to pinpoint the exact moment that Maya Hart fell out of love with him

The day she changed her hair?

 _"Maya, wh-what happened?" His face went tense at the sudden change._

 _"What happened?" Maya tugged at her hair as she mirrored Lucas' words with a tinge of disappointment in her voice. He grimaced as Riley struck his arm and whispered harshly, "That's not the way to support your girlfriend."_

 _Riley smiled widely at Maya and opened her arms for a hug. "Peaches, love it! The brown, and that length!" Riley touched Maya's hair as Maya squealed in excitement her eyes crinkling at the ends._

 _"Yeah, that brown and that length." Lucas muttered pulling at the collar of his shirt. No more blonde, and no more length._

The day that she found out she was dyslexic?

 _"I'm stupid." Maya spoke to the ground holding her head down in shame._

 _"You are not stupid Maya." Farkle sat next to Maya who still wouldn't look up. "You are a lot of things, but stupid has never been one of them."_

 _"Do you guys remember when I led the no homework rebellion and the sprinklers went off?" She spoke softly, barely audible. Farkle and Riley both nodded their heads in remembrance._

 _"Mr. Matthews asked me why I take things too far and I told him it was because I had no one to help me with my homework." Her voice began to crack at the memory._

 _"After that day I tried so hard, so hard you guys have no idea how hard I tried on my homework," she exclaimed looking desperately from one best friend to the other unshed tears visible in her eyes._

 _"I kept on failing over and over again it just didn't make any sense no matter how hard I tried, so I finally stopped trying and when my grades came back-"her voice was coated with an overwhelming sadness, "I just always fail, I've accepted that I will always fail-"_

 _"Maya do you remember when Mr. Matthews took our phones and made us 'connect' with people? Do you remember what we found out that night?"_

 _Maya shrugged in response to Farkle. He slid his hand into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened his wallet, took out a worn sheet of folded paper, handed it to Maya, and waited for her to open it. Maya's fingers began to shake with emotion at what she knew she was going to see. When her eyes confirmed her thought she clutched onto the paper and turned her full attention to Farkle Minkus._

 _"This Maya," he pointed at the drawn picture Maya had sketched out, "this is the language you speak. This is the magic you create when you are given the proper tools. You don't fail Maya, you just haven't been given the proper tools, yet." His hand found its way to her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "This drawing changed me Maya how can that be failing?"_

 _Riley slipped her hand into Maya's and gave her a light squeeze in support. "We love you Peaches and now that we know you're dyslexic we are still going to love you because you are still you and Maya we love every version of you."_

 _Lucas watched the three friends and for the first time felt like he was intruding._

The day she got her license?

 _"Lucas I know I said I'd take us out for a ride when I got my license, but I just want to hang out with Riley tonight. Rain check? Xoxo Maya"_

 _Lucas glanced over the text message and tossed his phone back onto his bed in annoyance._

The day her mom became Mrs. Hunter?

" _You look nice." Lucas complimented her kissing her on the cheek._

 _She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and laughed._

 _"I know you hate my hair Huckleberry you don't have to lie."_

 _Lucas forced a laugh and ran his hand down her curls._

 _"It's not that I hate it, it's just not- I mean you're not-"_

 _"A blonde beauty?" she interrupted lifting her eyebrow up slowly._

 _His hand dropped from her head in mild shock. What just happened?_

 _"Maya?" He treaded carefully._

 _"I should go find my mom, I'll see you." He nodded at her words and before spoke loudly, "I love you."_

 _Maya merely waved her hand over her shoulder in recognition of hearing him._

Lucas spent the entire class period reminiscing on important moments in Maya's life, moments that he as a boyfriend and a friend had failed at. He knew that and she probably felt that. He wasn't the most supportive boyfriend he could be, but he was always there. When Lucas heard the final bell rang Lucas packed up his books quietly and still in thought. He hadn't even noticed that he was the last one out. His eyes sought out the halls for her, but couldn't find her. In fact he wasn't able to find any of his friends. As Lucas stepped outside the doors of the school he stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes locked onto the scene in front of him. Maya was laughing and she was laughing with the one Joshua Matthews. Lucas hasn't ever experienced heart break before, and maybe this is what it feels like your stomach dropping, your hands sweating, and an incredible rage. He watched as Josh smiled at Maya eliciting another laugh from her. He watched as Maya stepped closer to Josh and pulled his beanie down over his eyes. He watched as they both laughed together. He didn't see when Riley came and hugged her uncle, but he did see that Maya stepped back almost like she had been caught. He did see that Josh paused as his niece's hands encircled him. He most definitely saw the lingering looks they gave each other before Riley and Josh left, leaving Maya alone in the parking lot. He saw her tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and smile faintly in the direction of the car. And he almost ignored the flash of sorrow and guilt he saw in her eyes as she finally realized he had been watching her the entire time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Well guys, this drabble has turned into a short story, haha! Here's part 2. I'm still debating on whether I should make a part 3 or just cut it off here. Let me know what you guys think! GMW isn't mine, unfortunately.**

He thought he'd be angrier, more morose than what he was. He hadn't spoken with Maya, no not yet. He didn't even know if he should be feeling heartbroken or not. There could be an excuse for what he saw, some reason why they were-

Lucas released a breath out of his mouth slowly. He knew better. It was Joshua Matthews. There was nothing mutual about Joshua Matthews. He remembered how crazy Maya would get at the mere sight of him and how broken she was that night on the subway. He rubbed the back of his head in frustration. He hadn't even heard her walk into his back yard.

"Lucas." She whispered her hands clutching onto each other while staring at the ground. Her voice was a salty surprise and he stiffened before glancing over at her. He gave her a once over before looking forward again. He felt her sit down next to him on the concrete steps. Lucas was slowly suffocating in the silence, the _awkward_ silence.

"How long?" His voice trembled as he finally turned his head to look at her. Her short brown hair cascaded over her pasty face shielding her from proper view. She unclasped her hands and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and shrugged.

"I don't know." When she looked up at Lucas her eyes were glossed over.

Lucas scoffed, "I thought what you felt for him all those years ago had subsided Maya!"

She cringed as his voice began to raise in volume.

"Feelings like that just don't go away Lucas." She saw the hurt flash across his eyes.

"So you started a _relationship_ with me when you knew full well that you-" He swallowed before looking away from her. Her head shook in denial.

"It wasn't like that Lucas. I thought I was over him and then-"

"And then what?!" He yelled.

"I cut my hair." He watched in confusion as she ran her fingers through her hair. His eyebrows scrunched up in question.

"You cut your hair?" She nodded biting the bottom right corner of her lip.

 _"Peaches my mom isn't going to recognize you!" Riley exclaimed._

 _"It's just a new hair do Riley." Maya rolled her eyes at her friend's enthusiasm._

 _"Maya it's not just a new hair do! It's a new phase of your life! It's-"_

 _"Uncle Josh." Maya stopped right in front of Topanga's making Riley run straight into her._

 _"What? No Maya how is your hair-" Riley started stepping around to face Maya.''_

 _"No, Peaches," she grabbed onto Riley's arms and turned her around, "it's your Uncle Josh."_

 _Riley's eyes widened in realization._

 _"Well isn't that something!" She smacked her thigh and grinned larger than the Cheshire cat._

 _"Are we going to say hi?" Maya asked._

 _"Do you want to say hi?" Riley asked in response looking over at Maya._

 _"No, let's just grab a bite to eat and just hang out-us two." She smiled grabbing onto Riley's hand and pulling her to a booth in the corner of Topanga's. The two friends stood there for the better part of two hours just talking and when closing time came Maya decided to wait for Katie to finish up, so that they could go home together._

 _"You alright baby?" Maya smiled sweetly at her mom._

 _"I'll just be outside waiting Mom." Katie nodded her head in agreement and left Maya to think about the day's events alone._

 _"I'm telling you Maya you've got to stay out of that dungeon of sadness." Maya had been sitting quietly outside at one of the tables staring off into nothing when she heard him._

 _She cracked a smile in reply._

 _"Well, well, well, if it isn't Joshua Matthews." She leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms across her chest silently inviting him to sit with her. Josh smiled lopsidedly before pushing out a chair and joining her._

 _"It's been a while." His eyes gleamed as he spoke to her, his smile was contagious. She fought off the smile tugging at her lips and nodded, "sure has."_

 _"Well," he stood up and walked over to where she was sitting and tugged at her now brown curls, "you grew up gorgeous."_

 _He spared her one last smile before leaving her alone, with a smile planted on her face._

Lucas tried to swallow the betrayal he was feeling as she told her story. He liked her hair.

"So it was your hair?" He spat venomously.

"No, Lucas! I mean yes," she back tracked willing him to understand, "but it wasn't just that."

 _Dyslexia._

 _Maya's never been so afraid in her life. Now everybody knew that something was wrong with her. There was actually a word for what was wrong with her._

 _She was supposed to go to Riley's tonight, but she just couldn't make the way up the outside stairs. She sat on the steps and leaned against the railing of Riley's building. Why her?_

 _"Maya?" Josh asked confused as to why she was sitting outside._

 _"Why are you out here?" He closed the door to the building behind him and sat a few steps below her so he was staring up at her._

 _She got lost in the dark blue of his eyes. She almost forgot to answer him._

 _"Just not ready to go inside yet." She murmured. She rested her head and closed her eyes fully expecting him to leave. He watched her closely unsure of what to do. He's never seen her like this, so, defeated. He gently rose from the step he was on and moved two steps closer to her._

 _"Maya," he unknowingly placed his hand over hers, "tell me about your day."_

 _Maya opened her eyes in a jolt. She felt the rush of heat rise up to her cheeks as she stared at her knee, the knee that had her hand and his hand on it._

 _"It's stupid." She finally answered._

 _"I'm willing to bet it's not." His voice did crazy things to Maya, he could tell her anything and she'd be putty in his hands._

 _"I found out I'm dyslexic." She curled her fingers on her knee._

 _Josh stared at his hand as it rested on top of her fisting one and secretly smiled to himself. He took her balling up hand and uncurled all of her fingers so that he could slide his fingers between hers._

 _"You barely found out, but Maya you've always been that way. What's the difference?" Maya looked over at Josh whose gaze traveled from her lips to her eyes._

 _"The difference is now I know and so does everybody else. I had plans with my life you know!" She replied in irritation._

 _"Plans like?" He questioned with a tilt of his head._

 _"Like," her eyes hesitated as they found his again and her voice lowered in volume, "college."_

 _He smiled faintly ignoring the flutter that he felt at the thought of her in college._

 _"You don't need perfect grades to get into college Maya believe it or not they actually care about your extra curriculars and the amount of adversity you've been through. You've been through a lot," his thumb lightly stroked the outside of her hand, "as long as you keep trying you'll be fine."_

 _"Really?" Josh hadn't realized how vulnerable she felt, but around him that's all she seemed to be. He nodded before giving her hand one last squeeze before releasing it._

 _"Besides, I know NYU has an amazing art program." He smiled up at Maya scratching the back of his head. Maya watched as he went down the steps and left. She smiled faintly at the thought. NYU has an amazing art program. NYU also has him._

Lucas didn't want to know anymore, but he couldn't stop himself from listening to her.

 _"What do you mean the car broke down? Mom, I'm supposed to go take my driver's test today!" Maya exclaimed pinching the top of her nose in exasperation._

 _"Yeah, ok." She muttered before ending the call and taking a seat at their usual spot in Topanga's._

 _"Well if it isn't my favorite ferret." Josh teased taking a seat next to her._

 _"Ha. Ha. Very funny Uncle Boing." She rolled her eyes clearly annoyed._

 _"Peaches, I'm ready now! Let's go get you that license-oh, hey Uncle Josh!" Riley pulled on Maya's arm trying to get her up._

 _"License?" Josh questioned._

 _"Yep today's the big day right Maya?!"_

 _"Actually Riles I have to reschedule, the car is in the shop so I can't very well drive a broken car." Maya pulled her arm back causing Riley to fall and huff up at her best friend. Maya simply smiled back innocently._

 _"You can borrow mine if you want." Josh offered helping Riley up from the floor._

 _Maya's eyes went wide at the offer._

 _"Really?"_

 _"Sure, I'll even let you take Riley and me for some ice cream afterwards, my treat of course." He wasn't ready for when Maya launched herself at him._

 _"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She yelled into his ear as she hugged him. He smiled into the hug briefly hugging her back._

Maya remembered everything so clearly and couldn't stop the memories the night of the wedding from clouding her thoughts.

 _Maya watched as the dance floor as Shawn took Katie to the dance floor. They were beautiful and they were hers. She smiled into her glass of champagne and took a small sip, her eyes never leaving her parents._

 _"They are quite the match, huh?" Maya spared a glance to the side and was quite surprised with seeing him there. She took another sip of the champagne before nodding her head in reply. Maya forgot what it was like to breathe. Josh should wear a tuxedo everyday she decided._

 _"Makes you believe," he smiled raising a glass of his own._

 _Maya swallowed her throat now dry._

 _"Believe in what?"_

 _"In love." His eyes pierced hers and she felt a chill throughout her entire body. His eyes drifted back to the couple on the dance floor._

 _"Timeless love." He smiled faintly running his finger along the top of his glass._

 _Maya watched Josh rather intently. He had always confused her with his feelings, but his eyes always spoke with clarity and right now they were pristine. She new what he meant and he knew she knew what he meant. If they could do it, why not them? His eyes caught hers once more before he nodded in another direction._

 _"I think Cowboy is looking for you," he began to walk past her but turned slightly, "don't forget to save me a dance." He winked at her playfully before going over to Eric._

"You fell in love with him." Lucas stated void of any emotion.

Maya shook her head and whispered, "Lucas, I never fell out of love with him."


	7. Chapter 7

**Don't own GMW or any of the characters, just love the characters. So, here's part three and I probably won't do a part four, not for a while anyway. Thanks for all the reviews I love reading your reactions and hearing what you think. Sorry this one took a while for me to figure out and in case you haven't noticed I love angst ;) Enjoy!**

Maya sat next to Lucas and began to panic.

 _She never fell out of love with him._

Her palms began to feel clammy, her hands shook at the thought that began to plague her mind. How did this even happen? She tangled her hands together and gripped her fingers together to try and stop the shaking. Her eyes head turned and her eyes looked over at the boy sitting next to her.

How could she do this to him? Her bright blue eyes pierced Lucas' unaware form. She watched as he unconsciously picked at his nails. Her eyes traveled upwards to his chest and she sucked in a sharp breath.

 _"Happy Birthday Ranger Rick!" The bottom of her feet lifted so she was standing on the tip of her toes and she gave him a kiss not quite on the cheek, but not full on the lips either. She pulled away slowly smiling at him before she pulled away._

 _"I got you something." Lucas sighed as Maya turned to go rummage through her purse and Lucas followed right behind her. His hands found her hips, "you didn't have to get me anything." Her hand glided over his, stringing their fingers together she turned to face him, "but I did anyway."_

 _She winked playfully at him before handing him a little black box. He took it hesitantly looking back and forth between the box and her._

 _"Maya-" He started._

 _"Lucas open it." Maya prodded pushing the box and his hands away from her and towards him._

 _His eyes dropped back down to the box and he slowly ran his fingers over the lid. He turned to go sit on the edge of his bed with Maya following in suit._

 _Maya smiled at the surprise that etched over his face and the pull of the corner of his mouth. To anyone else, the gift would be a bit morbid, but for them- it had meaning._

 _"This is-" he started._

 _"Perfect? Yeah, I know." Maya shrugged her shoulders laughing._

 _"May I?" She asked gesturing for the box._

 _"Please." Lucas handed her the gift and watched in her in pure admiration. His eyes followed her movements. She stood up and stood between his knees. His eyes watched her face and he laughed as she bit her lip in concentration. Her arms reached behind him and his arms reached for her waist. She grinned pulling away from him, but not getting very far as Lucas pulled her back to him. He brought her down to sit on his knee and kissed her gently._

 _"Thank you." He whispered when he pulled away from her lips resting his forehead against hers. Her breathing was ragged._

 _"Lucas-"_

 _He could hear the craving in her voice and that was enough to ignite the fire in him. He was watching her eyes watch his lips and he reacted. He pressed his lips against hers and turned them both around so she was laying on the bed with him hovering over her. She ran her hand down his chest and gripped the gift she had gotten him that was dangling off of his chest-a pendant, a tombstone with an engraving of a bull._

Maya had been staring at his chest for quite some time. At first Lucas hadn't noticed the staring, but here he was facing her and her him, but she wasn't actually looking at him, more like through him.

"Maya?"

Her eyes met his at the sound of his voice. He had known Maya for years now. He knew her inner workings better than almost anyone and he knew that the wall of unshed tears layering her eyes were there because she was afraid, afraid of change, afraid of herself and her feelings.

"Just go." She nodded solemnly trying not to panic. She stood up hugging herself tightly and walked away from him, away from them. She stopped at the gate entrance and took one last look at him. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach as she saw one of her best friend's watching her go with no emotion on his face whatsoever.

Maya didn't know where she was going until she was already there. She looked up and smiled grimly, Riley.

She entered the Matthews' home as she had been doing for years. She just opened the door and let herself in.

She had her head down and closed the door quietly. She sucked in a breath of air as she pressed her forehead against the door, and let it out slowly closing her eyes trying to calm herself down.

"Maya?" She laughed out cynically. What were the chances? Her eyes opened as she lifted her head up and she swallowed attempting to have enough courage to turn around.

"Josh." She whispered out coarsely turning around to find him looking her over in concern. Josh took a half a step forward as soon as her blood shot eyes met his.

"What-" His feet moved on their own accord towards her. She shook her head and smiled wiping away a stray tear.

"Where's everybody at?" She asked looking around the place, anywhere but him. His eyebrows drew together while his eyes took her in. He had only seen her, so fragile, so broken a handful of times. His heart broke as he watched her fight off the tears that were still spilling over without her permission. His breathing halted for a moment as she tried to keep herself together. He treaded slowly. When he reached for her hand she flinched and took a step back. Josh swallowed the disappointment and looked at her eyes once more.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her eyes wide, staring at his hands in condemnation. Josh's head cocked to the side trying to understand her. He was normally good at that.

"I'm trying to-"

She didn't know where the sudden anger came from, but it came in spades and it washed over her all at once.

"Trying to what Josh?! What are trying to do, huh?! You have done enough!" She stared at him coldly trying to step further away from him.

"Maya, I don't understand." He stepped in front of her as she glared at him.

"Stop trying Josh." She cut him off stepping around him once more and attempted to make her way to Riley's room. He caught her hand and pulled her to him. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew when Maya Hart was crying for help on the inside. He wrapped his arms securely around her small frame and let her cry. He rubbed her back in soothing circles as her hands gripped onto his shirt. The sobs that came out of her tore something in him that he couldn't describe. He slowly kissed the top of her head and left his lips there, pressed against her brown curls.

"I'm right here." He assured her hugging her a little bit closer. Her fingers released his the front of his shirt and she slipped her arms around Josh's torso.

"Josh?" Her voice was coarse as she pulled her head inches away from his chest. She looked over his lips that were the most delectable shade of pink and then up to his eyes. He swallowed knowing he was in trouble, knowing he was probably going to hate himself in the next few hours, but right now looking at her, he didn't care.

"Maya," he whispered looking down at her slowly lowering himself. She retracted one of her arms from behind him and slowly ran her hand up his chest, to behind his neck. Her fingers wrapped around his chocolate brown hair and gripped it roughly pulling him to her. Her lips pushed against his with fervor and he couldn't stop the moan that left his lips. He bit down on her bottom lip causing Maya to jump up and wrap both of her legs around his torso. He smiled at the thought- that hadn't been the first time she's jumped him. She roughly gripped his hair pulling it to dominate what they were doing. Josh without breaking their kiss walked them over to the couch and sat down with Maya still on top of him. He cupped her face and slowly ran his tongue over her bottom lip waiting eagerly to allow him access. It wasn't until Maya opened her mouth for him and began to try to tear of his shirt that he began to make sense of the reality and gravity of the situation.

"Maya-" He began trying to speak through her kisses. His hands gripped onto her waist as she continued to kiss him.

"Stop." She stopped a bit dazed as Josh pushed her back, but still held her in his arms.

"What happened today?" He asked her softly pushing her hair back behind her ear.

She bit down on her lip. She had forgotten if for a moment. She slowly made her way out of his lap and sat next to him on the couch. Her eyes found the blank television, "Lucas."

If he had to describe it he would describe it as ice-cold water being thrown at him. He had to mask his disappointment, his aching heart at the name. He nodded and began to internally scold himself. She began to play with her hands.

"We broke up." She stared at him trying to decipher his reaction.

"Oh." He stated not meeting her stare. He rubbed his hands against his jean covered thighs and sighed. He stood up abruptly walking over to the door and grabbing his coat from the coat rack. She watched as he shrugged on his coat and looked over at her.

"They should be home soon Topanga just had to go to a dinner thing with the firm and they invited the family." He began to turn towards the door.

"Josh-" Maya stood.

He shook his head.

"It's ok Maya. You're hurt. You just needed a rebound-" he grimaced at the word, "but I'm not willing to be that guy, so let's just forget that this happened." He looked her over once more before exiting the Matthews' place and closing the door behind him. He rested his back against the door and sighed licking his lips. There would be no forgetting that.

Maya stared at the door in shock. He thought he was a rebound. A rebound? She laughed at the irony. Joshua Matthews thought he was a rebound when he was actually the reason why her and Lucas, why her and anyone would never work out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello lovelies! Sorry it's been a while, I just didn't know what to write about for the longest time. SKI LODGE THOUGH. *Fangirls***

 **I've probably watched it about 40 times already. I have a problem. I just love Josh and Maya so much it makes my heart hurt. I hope you guys enjoy this one, I'm going to do a second part to it. I figure I owed you guys something for not updating in so long. Let me know your thoughts!**

 **AND I don't own Girl Meets World, bummer.**

Maya Hart.

I clasped the beer in my hands, sloppily brought it up to my lips, and swallowed the last of the remaining bit. I choked back the tears and threw the empty can with the other five I've already drank. A small sob escaped my lips. There was no worse pain than this. The darkness surrounded me, the only visible light was a street lamp that flickered on and off every few seconds. I attempted to fight back the tears, but it was a fight I wasn't winning. My heart felt like it was being squeezed, while at the same time my chest didn't feel like it was big enough to hold it in. My lungs weren't retaining any air, and my head, my head wouldn't stop picturing her. The back of my head met the cold brick wall that was helping me sit upright. My legs met my chest in recoil. The pain from my head was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I couldn't breathe through the tears that were now cascading down my face. I dug my fingers into my hair and pulled as hard as I could letting out a scream that was only a fraction of what I was feeling.

"Josh?" I buried my head further between my arms refusing to answer his call. I could hear the clattering of cans and his voice muttering in disapproval. I couldn't bring myself to care, not one bit.

"Dude what is wrong with you?" Andrew's choice in words only made my heart ache even more. Hate myself even more. I tilted my head to meet his condemning stare. My eyes glazed over from tears and my voice hoarse.

"She's three years younger than me." The condemnation in his gaze softened.

"Maya." His voice dropped in volume. He was suddenly leveling himself to where I was sitting.

"She's three years younger than me Andy! I-I-thought we had an understanding. I-" I drunkenly bit down on my lip willing myself to stop crying. I couldn't even see his face through the wall of tears building in my eyes.

"Josh, you guys do have an understanding man. I've never seen two people more-" Andrew spoke cautiously almost like he was afraid to speak, "more,-"

"In love?" I scoffed kicking my feet out.

I took a couple of deep breaths and sat in silence with Andrew right next to me.

"We were supposed to have someday." I whispered in defeat.

"Josh, come on, someday can still happen!" Andrew encouraged.

I shook my head solemnly, "She's getting married."


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok, so this is going to have another part. I just get so excited, and when I start to write, like really write, I get these monsters that shouldn't be just one story.**

 **Can I just say that I love reading your guys' reactions. I legitimately laugh at some of the things you guys say (in a good way), and I just want to say thank you for reading.** **Genuinely and from the bottom of my heart. This chapter is dedicated to everyone and anyone who has left a review. I love having your support and I love knowing that I'm not the only crazy Josh x Maya shipper out there ;)**

 **Spread the word my friends. Josh and Maya are endgame.**

 **Oh, I don't own GMW unfortunately. But, enjoy either way!**

"We were supposed to have someday. We were supposed to play the long game. We- I-I'm so stupid. I'm the one who told her to-" Andrew's hand gripped around my shoulder.

"Let's go home." I looked up at him and nodded the feeling of loss overwhelming me. Andrew lifted me up most of the way and helped me walk back into the apartment building we were living in.

Hangovers.

I almost forgot why I even had a hangover.

Almost.

I forced myself out of bed and into my restroom. I threw water on my face and gripped the sink to stabilize myself. My reflection stared back at me, and I almost didn't recognize myself. My eyes were swollen, my lips were dry, and my mouth tinged with cotton mouth. My body ached, and my face was flushed. My grip on the sink hardened as I willed for yesterday to have been only a nightmare.

 _I love you._

 _I love you too._

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

 _Will you marry me?_

 _Yes._

I fought to take in an even amount of oxygen. She said yes to marriage, to a future with him.

Where did that leave us? My hands unclamped from the sink.

There was no us.

There never was an us and now there never would be.

Maya Hart was getting married.

I don't think I actually ever believed how much a broken heart could affect a person. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years-2 to be exact. Two years of my life were spent on autopilot. I barely registered anything. Time was no help. If anything it had taught me that just because the world moves on doesn't mean you do. I've avoided any kind of confrontation with her-until now. I stood in my brother's apartment- no one trusting me to come along to this thing- shrugging on my leather jacket in hopes of bringing back the me who had only seen her as my niece's best friend.

"Uncle Josh?"

Riley had grown up, and much to my dismay she had grown up so much that he hated taking her anywhere near campus. There wasn't a pair of eyes that weren't on her when she entered a room. People used to gravitate her because of her personality, well now they gravitate towards her for entirely different reasons.

I smiled at my niece in her short, purple dress.

"You look great Riley." She smiled in thanks walking towards me briskly.

"I know this is hard for you-"

"Riley-" I warned.

"I know this is hard for you Josh, but I'm glad you're here." Her eyes held a tinge of sadness, but a whole lot of sincerity.

"That makes one of us." I finally muttered offering her my arm.

"Let's just go get this over with please before your dad comes looking for us." Riley's smile didn't reach her eyes like how it normally did. She took my arm in silence and we walked down to Topanga's for the rehearsal dinner.

It wasn't so bad at first. I almost forgot where I was, being surrounded by the people I love. My parents, siblings, niece and nephew, and the Hunters. I was surrounded by the people who reminded me everyday why I am blessed. I laughed as Riley's boyfriend-Farkle, showed Shawn his birth certificate.

"I still can't believe that Minkus reproduced." Shawn spoke in disbelief.

"HA!"

Riley and I couldn't stop the laughter that escaped our mouths. I doubled over in laughter at the confusion etched on Shawn's face. I was wiping tears of laughter from my eyes when I saw her. It had been so long since I've seen her. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders to her mid torso. She wore a mid length blue dress that had me rubbing my hands along my jeans.

"Hey everyone." She spoke to all of us, but her eyes never left mine. A small smile tugged at the right side of her lips. God, I forgot how gorgeous she was, or rather how nervous she makes me when she looked like this.

"There she is, oh Baby Girl you look beautiful." Katy pulled Maya into her arms with the rest of them in suite. She greeted every single person with a smile and a hug. Before I knew it she was in front of me and I stood up meeting her level, thanks to her heels.

"Josh." Her voice was soft and her eyes, my goodness those brilliant eyes. I swallowed nervously refusing to back out of her gaze. My hand subconsciously went to rub the back of my head and she smiled.

"Nervous?" I cracked a smile at her teasing tone.

"That's normally what happens to me around gorgeous women." I hadn't realized what I said until after I said it. I looked away from her immediately and noticed everyone's stares divert quickly hoping I hadn't caught them staring. I cleared my throat attempting to diffuse the awkwardness brewing between us. My eyes made their way back to her and she also had looked away from me. She was chewing on her bottom lip and I couldn't stop myself from being more enamored with her. Everything about this girl made me crazy. I was about to reach out to her when I heard him. My arm withdrew back to my side so quickly and my insides felt like coming up. I've never felt more sick in my life.

"Hey, baby I'm sorry I'm late. Don't hate me." He ran into Topanga's stopping at her side. My eyes narrowed into slits and I looked away in disgust when he leaned in to kiss her on the head. I took great interest in my shoes as he kept on talking. I was drowning, suffocating, I needed air.

"Josh, hey man! Nice to see you!" He greeted me barely noticing it was me who Maya had been occupying herself with.

I forced a smile on my face and simply nodded my head.

"I'm just going to-" I pointed to the door walking away from the couple. The night air enveloped me and I breathed it in trying to rid myself of the anger, the heartbreak. I pulled out a chair to one of the outside tables and sat down. I took a few deep breaths and tried to stop my hands from shaking. How could she do this? How could she possibly do this to me? How could she unknowingly make me so crazy about her?

"You know Josh-"

"Ah!" I gripped on to my chest startled at the sudden intrusion.

"Holy mother of-can you warn a guy next time Shawn!" I glared at the man before me before looking back at the table trying to calm myself down. He laughed at my antics and joined me at the table I was at.

"Reckless spontaneity."

What? My eyes drew together in confusion. I looked over at Shawn who was tugging his coat closer to his body. He once again laughed over my way before speaking again.

"I loved Katy long before I proposed to her. I would have never asked her if I hadn't buried the fear and found my reckless spontaneity again." His lips pulled upward in a smile before fully turning towards me.

"Josh, you have been so concerned about how other people will perceive your relationship with Maya-"

I shook my head, "I don't have a relationship with Maya."

"-and whose fault is that?" Shawn stared at me like he was a man on a mission. His arms rested on the table his focus solely on me. I looked down at the table unable to answer that question when we both knew the answer.

"When you were a baby you were born really sick."

My lungs.

I nodded so he knew I was keeping up with him.

"You scared all of us Josh. I haven't been that scared in a while, until now." My head tilted to the side as I took in what he was saying.

"Shawn, why are you scared now?" He sighed before speaking.

"I'm about to watch my daughter marry someone who she can't love to the fullest of her capacity. I'm about to watch my daughter marry someone who she shouldn't be married to." His conviction in both his tone and his eyes moved me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered looking back towards my hands carelessly playing with them.

"Because I have watched you grow, and I've watched her grow. I went to school with Corey and Topanga for goodness sake. I know what love looks like Josh. I'm telling you this because you're about to lose your shot at everlasting happiness and for what?" I nodded my head in understanding.

"I've already lost it Shawn. She's getting married." I muttered looking up to the sky.

"Tomorrow. She's getting married tomorrow. So, I'm going to tell you again what I told you that night when you were in the hospital. You're in a real bad way. Don't go out of town like I did looking for something you're not going to find. Don't go anywhere. Life is right here with these people, with your family, _my_ family. You've got the greatest family there is Josh. We want you to be with us so we can watch you change, watch you grow and make memories together. _Our_ family loves you Josh. _Our_ family also loves Maya. _Our_ families would love you both even more together, finally giving in to the happiness you both have denied yourself for so long."

I was a pool of emotion. I couldn't speak. All I could do was look at him. His words were so genuine, and heartfelt I couldn't begin to thank him for entrusting me with what he said. For attempting to even have a talk with me about her. I was grateful he took time out of his daughter's rehearsal dinner to tell me this, but he was wrong. She doesn't love me.

"Dad?"

Maya's head popped out of the door and while Shawn rose to meet her I looked the other way hoping to mask any emotion that resided on my face after a conversation like that.

"We're about to serve dinner. Are you guys coming?" She asked hopefully. I wasn't staring at her, but I could feel her eyes boring into my head.

"Sure, yeah, yeah. Let's go." Shawn waved over to the door before walking into Topanga's completely. Maya turned to face the door just as I finally let myself look at her. I wasn't expecting her to stop. I wasn't expecting her to turn around and face me one last time. I wasn't expecting her to ghost a smile at me before reaching for the door. And I most definitely wasn't expecting the words that came out of my mouth that stopped her right in her tracks.

"So much for the long game, huh?"

She stood back towards me, frozen for what felt like hours. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.

"Excuse me?" She finally choked out turning to face me slowly.

I shrugged casually the hurt finally rearing its ugly head.

"It's okay. Most people don't last for the long game you and I both know that first hand don't we?"

Hurt clouded her expression. A twinge of regret seeped its way into my body as I watched her expression go from hurt to angry in less than two seconds.

"The long game? Josh we agreed to see other people or do you not remember that day at the ski lodge? 'You live your life and I'll live mine' speech? Ring any bells? Let me remind you!" She moved closer to me only getting louder.

"You don't have to remind me Maya." I snapped pushing my chair back and standing up.

"Clearly I do Josh because-"

"I told you I was playing the long game that night! We told each other someday Maya, and now you're- you're-" My eyes looked past her and to the door behind her.

She shook her head at me dejectedly.

"Someday for what Josh, huh? A crush?" Her eyes began to water. I found myself wanting to hug her, comfort her even though I was hurting too.

I closed my eyes and exhaled.

"It wasn't a crush."

"It was always more than that." Her bright blue eyes bore into mine. I took a step closer to her.

"We were always more than that." I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear slowly caressing her face along the way.

She seemed lost for a minute, but the moment she found herself again she pulled back instantaneously and retreated from me towards Topanga's, towards her fiancé.


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright guys, here's the last part to this one. I'm so sorry it took so long. I just had no idea how I wanted to end this one. I was very conflicted on what to do. I know most of you wanted some grand gesture, and that's what Shawn suggested to Josh in the last one, but I just don't see Josh as the type to be reckless. Maya is reckless. If this story was in Maya's perspective it would've been published a lot quicker. Everything I wrote just didn't fit right, so I ended up deleting time and time again. Finally this came out of me, and though it could probably still be better. I am satisfied.**

 **SO**

 **All the reviews, I read them, I promise I do! They motivate me to write and I'm very grateful to everyone who leaves a review. And for everyone who even reads these drabbles. It means a lot to me to hear what you guys think, to know that there are people out there who read what I write. I love you guys!**

 **These characters aren't mine, and neither are some of the lines. Enjoy! As always, review, fave, all that jazz!**

I probably should've chased after her that night, but I didn't. I probably should've caused an uprising to grab her attention and stop her from getting married, but I didn't. I probably should've just marched right over and kissed her, but I didn't. I probably should've done _something_ to prevent that night from continuing, but I didn't.

Maya Hart deserved to be happy and if there was one thing I wanted more than to be with that girl, it was for her to experience true happiness, for her to be happy. She does, after all, have the greatest capacity for love that I have ever seen.

I was Joshua Matthews-son, brother, uncle, and friend. I was Joshua Matthews- the guy who was undeniably, head over heels in love with Maya Penelope Hart, so much in love with her that I wouldn't dream of interfering with her happiness. So much in love that I'd place her happiness above my own. So much in love that I walked away that night.

I slowly ran my finger down the side of an envelope I found in a box at the very top of my closet, it was a letter. A letter in my handwriting. A shadow of a smile played against my lips as I flipped open the flap and pulled out the paper.

 _Someone once told me that writing is harder than talking.  
_ _I use to think they were full of it. How could writing be harder than talking when writing can be calculated, and talking-having actual conversations with actual people is spontaneous and unpredictable? You can't predict what people are going to say. You can't predict (doesn't stop us from trying) your responses to what the other person says. In all aspects talking is harder than writing, but as I sit here writing this letter I finally understand. When you write, really write, you are essentially stripping yourself naked. Bearing your mind and soul to whoever reads what you wrote. Writing is calculated, yes, but that just makes the writer all the more brave. They choose to allow the reader into their mind and soul- to allow the reader to see the world as they do_.

 _So, here's my world.  
_ _I'm a lot younger than my brother's and my sister. I grew up closer in age to my niece than to my siblings. Either one of my brothers could have been my parents and I could have very well been the first third generation son, a brother to Riley, or perhaps even a cousin. Growing up was confusing._

 _"Go play with the kids."  
_ _I'd hear that phrase often and though they'd say it often there was always the undertone of what they meant.  
_ _"You're an uncle, Josh. Behave accordingly."  
_ _I've always felt misplaced.  
It was that feeling of misplacement that shaped me. I did things in hopes to fit in with my family. Be cool-Shawn. Be smart, succeed-Cory. Be fun-Eric. Be fashionable-Morgan. Be mature- My parents. Misplacement, insecurities, and the need to fit in has made me who I am today, a day where I still feel misplaced. A feeling I know you know all too well._

 _"Forgotten memories, always. Forgotten feelings, never."  
_ _I was 17 when my world shifted. When I finally had a taste of belonging. I was at my first college party when I saw them. Riley and Maya. Humiliated wouldn't even begin to cover how I felt that night, that is until she spoke to me. Confusion swept over me as she bear my soul to me. An ache settled in my chest as she uttered the words, "I like you."  
_ _I knew then. It hadn't been a crush. She liked me for me, and it shook me to my core. I remember looking into her eyes and seeing the frustration, sincerity, and conviction.  
_ _"Dude, what is wrong with you?" I remember Andrew saying.  
I remember thinking it's not what's wrong with me, it's what's wrong with this entire situation. I walked them home that night, in silence to say the least. I never told her this, but from that night on I watched her. I observed her. Who was Maya Hart really?_

 _"Why is this bad for you?"  
_ _Because I like you. I knew the answer before she even asked me. I had found out who she was in her thoughts, her words, her actions and I found myself_ liking _her. I became irate with myself- with the world. I couldn't like her. She was so much younger than me. I quickly began to hate the entire situation because of how much I liked her. Why did she have to be three years younger than me? Why did society insist on creating these social rules, these norms and regulations? Because the girl before me may be three years younger than me, but her mind is much more mature than any number._

 _"Why have you let me hold onto your hand this entire time?"  
_ _I never told her the real answer. That she was the one who finally made me feel like I belonged. That I was a part of something. That I existed for a reason. I let her hold onto my hand that night because I didn't even know she was holding it. Her hand just fit into mine, like it belonged there, like it would always belong there._

 _We promised each other someday. We said we'd play the long game. I made the mistake of thinking that the long game had a specific date. I made the mistake of forgetting that the long game was_ life _. I made the mistake of confusing someday with the long game and for that I'll forever be haunted._

 _"And maybe someday you'll fall in love with a woman as wonderful as Topanga."_

 _Cory had been right, I had.  
_ _Except where he has Topanga, I had Maya.  
_ _And where he stood on the other end of the aisle to watch his bride. I'll be standing in the crowd watching her become someone else's bride._

 _Tomorrow you'll no longer be Maya Hart, you'll bear a new name, so for the first and last time I want these words to be yours: Joshua Gabriel Matthews has always, and will always love Maya Penelope Hart._

"Josh? What are you doing? Is that?" She laughed as she walked over to me in nothing but one of my button down shirts.

"I didn't know I still had that." She whispered as she rubbed her hand along my back and laid her head against my shoulder.

"You have no idea how much grief that letter caused me." She giggled, shifting her head to lightly peck my shoulder.

"Grief? You should thank me. You, gorgeous, would have been divorced after a year of marriage to him." I winked at her playfully.

Her eyes narrowed in mischief.

"A year?" Her head rose off of my shoulder and her hand found her hip.

I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, you're right six months, his last name was awful." I laughed as her face turned to disbelief.

"Now, listen here Boing-" I watched her lips move and registered none of what she was saying. Her arms were flailing, her eyes were narrowed, and her hair swayed back and forth in a loose ponytail. I couldn't stop the warmth that spread through me and the feeling of content from surging in my heart. My hands found her face and pulled her to my lips. It was slow, soft, and passionate. Her lips were a different type of euphoria for me-home.

Our foreheads rested against each others as we breathed in each other's air slowly trying to regain the breath we had both lost. I slowly placed my lips back on hers for a peck before pulling away.

"You did change your last name, in my defense."

Her laugh echoed off the walls before she nodded her head in agreement.

"Maya Matthews does have a better ring to it doesn't it?" My hand had found her left ring finger and brought it up to my lips. After kissing the ring I placed her hand against my cheek and looked deep into those beautiful, bright, blue eyes of hers.

"There's no better sound."


	11. Chapter 11

**I've had this one camping out in my drafts for a while. I had written it up, but couldn't figure out how to move forward with it. I finally found some creative spaces I could take and am ready for it to be unleashed to the world.**

 **The movie this one will be based off of always hits right in the feels! This will have a few parts, so be prepared for that. Remember, I'm condensing something that can be written as a full fledged story drastically,. You know the drill, I don't own this show or it's characters, or the movie that inspired this one. As always I love reading your thoughts, so leave a review! Nothing makes me smile more throughout the days when I see epic responses (:**

 **PS. Let's see who can guess the movie these next few chapters will be based on first (;**

 **Happy Reading!**

The corner of my lip twitched as I fought off a smile. I was casually leaning on Zay's truck door watching Ranger Rick toss Smackle into the lake we were at. To my right, Riley was sitting on the hood of Farkle's car with him sitting next to her. Their hands were entangled together and Riley's laugh filled the air as she watched Huckleberry and Smackle playing. My ears delighted at the sound, the familiarity of it comforting. I couldn't stop myself from looking over her way and smiling at the picture of Riley and Farkle. She was smiling at our friends and Farkle had a touch of a smile ghosting over his own lips, his eyes never leaving her form. I'm not sure if there was an exact moment they both realized they were in love, but it's hard to picture them without the other now.

"Honey nugget, if you want to be a couple I'm sure Vanessa would be into it." Zay winked over playfully placing himself right in my line of vision.

"Oh, shut it." I laughed shoving his shoulder.

"Did you ever think that Lucas and Smackle would, you know, " he inquired nodding their way. I fixed my eyes on the pair and pulled on the bottom right corner of my lip, rolling it between my teeth. Smackle had her hands on Ranger Rick's shoulders and was trying to push him beneath the water. Her social awkwardness hadn't faded, it had become cherished amongst all of us, but especially to Lucas.

"No," I answered, "but aren't some of the greatest things in life the unexpected things?"

Zay looked over at me with an amused expression and nodded slowly, "that's a good way to look at it."

"Don't tell Riley." I winked laughing at my own expense.

He smiled widely, "Hey Riley, do you want to hear a great Maya story!?"

"Isaiah Babineaux!"

He threw his hands up in surrender before throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"Let's go Schmookims." He led me over to Riley and Farkle and we sat there for hours on Lucas' and Farkle's cars respectively just talking, and being with each other.

It was bordering 11pm when we heard tires approaching on the dirt road. Lucas stood up instinctively, that boy's bones wouldn't let him rest when it came to protecting us. The car approached slowly, all of our eyes glued to it. When it was close enough the car stopped and turned off.

"Riley?" We heard after the sound of a door shutting.

Riley's face washed over in recognition.

"Uncle Josh? What are you doing here? It's late!" Riley jumped off of Farkle's car's hood and ran towards her uncle who was already between our vehicles, hands in pocket, beanie in place and hair peaking out from the sides.

"I'm on Riley duty tonight." His smile was beautiful. There was no other way to describe it. It had been over a year since I've seen the younger Matthews brother and I almost forgot what it was like to forget to breathe.

"Josh, I'm sorry if I had known I would've came home-" Riley turned away from Josh and began to collect her things in a hurry.

His laugh penetrated the night air. The sound was melodic and as soon as it hit my ears I closed my eyes in content. What a sound.

"Riley it's fine. You're 17, you should be out until ungodly hours doing ungodly things." He bumped her with his hip a smile gracing his face. Riley's eyes stayed glued to Josh as her feet shuffled.

"Let's go." She finally said her voiced laced with regret.

"Riley, I-"

"No Uncle Josh. I shouldn't have stayed out this late. Let's go." She barreled past him, his expression one of sorrow as his eyes followed her. Riley opened the door to his car and hopped in. I carefully watched Josh and noted that his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he watched his niece. What was the big deal? Josh momentarily looked at the ground before turning towards us.

"Sorry guys. I'll make sure she texts you guys when we get home." Josh raised his hand in a good-bye gesture. I don't know what happened. I just know that as soon as his deep blue eyes found mine I couldn't move. He stilled at the sight of me like he hadn't realized that I was there that entire time. I began to feel a slight chill run up my entire body under his stare and instead of it being an uncomfortable feeling, it was one I welcomed. He blinked rapidly probably realizing he had been staring and smiled lightly at me before lowering his chin and leaving towards Riley.

We watched them go with no explanation from Riley as to why she seemed to be so spooked at the sight of her uncle. I laid back down on Friar's car and looked up at the pitch black sky that was illuminated by stars.

Joshua Matthews.

Just thinking of his name made my heart flutter, my stomach tighten, and my palms sweaty. It had been over a year and he still made me feel like the crazy, irrational 14 year old girl I was when I had liked him. Liked him. I closed my eyes and let a small smile grace my lips. It may have been quite some time, but I knew that those feelings were still there.

"Maya?"

One of my eyes opened at the sound of my name.

"She's okay right?" I contemplated Farkle's question for a minute watching his face contort with worry.

"If she wasn't we'd know."

He nodded in agreement as he stared off into the direction the car disappeared in.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm hearing a collective response to this one. It's actually kind of funny to me because it's something I didn't even think twice about. Just goes to show how we all interpret things differently!**

 **I know Lucas and Smackle are different, but I find myself loving their encounters. They are the ultimate cliché, are they not? Besides GMW writers have me shipping everyone. I literally do ship everyone and I honestly don't care who ends up with who at the end, besides Josh and Maya, because they would all work in their own strange way. It's why I don't mind throwing around ships in my stories. The only solid ship in every one of my drabbles is Josh and Maya. Every other ship is fair game for me to write about however, whenever I want. The only ship I'd be ok with dethroning Joshaya would be Rilaya, because let's face it that ship is so cute. It is true, if Maya or Riley were a guy people would ship the hell out of it. I don't know how I got into this rant lol sorry!**

 **I honestly am changing quite a bit to make the movie fit these characters, so where there were similarities in the prior chapter there was nothing there to give it away. Although, one of you had me freaking out for a minute. I thought you actually had an idea of where I was taking it and I couldn't believe it, but then I finished reading what you wrote. In your defense nothing drastic happened in the first chapter of this story, as it did in both the movie and the book. You definitely won't be able to tell what this is based off of on this chapter. But, happy guessing!**

 **On another note, I've been gone for quite a while. I'm so sorry. There really is no excuse. Just like most of the fandom I was pretty devastated by the cancellation of GMW. I had to get over the slump of disappointment and realize that now the show exists through fanfiction writers. This will be updated again by the end of the month I swear! Thank you to everyone who continues to read my work and supports my writing. I love you guys! As always I own nothing. Happy reading :)**

"Honey."

"Not now Peaches," she stated grimly attempting to end the conversation before it even began. I cocked my head to the side and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Listen here Lollipop you tell me what's wrong and you tell me what's wrong right now!" I pulled on her elbow and made her turn to face me. Her eyes narrowed at me before finally she gave a sigh.

"I'm grounded," she muttered while shoving her history book into her locker.

I fought back a smile as I slightly turned to let my back rest on the wall of lockers. I kicked a leg up, allowing one of my feet to also rest on the wall of lockers behind me. My left hand found a chunk of my hair and slowly began to twirl it.

"Did you now," I glanced up fighting the smile forming on my face, "I wonder what ever for?"

I feigned a face of discovery and stood up abruptly.

"Oh, no! Riles!" I slapped both hands over my heart in dramatization.

"Could it have been that you were out past curfew last night and they had to send Uncle Boing to retrieve you?" I smiled sweetly at Riley whose typical smiley face was one of amused annoyance.

"It's not funny Maya." Her long, delicate arms folded in front of her chest as she chastised me.

I nodded my head in understanding.

"I agree Riles. How ever could they ground their daughter for staying out past curfew when she was with her _boyfriend_? "

Riley let out a laugh as she lightly hit me on the shoulder.

"I wasn't just with Farkle!"

She rolled her eyes before she hooked her arm through mine.

"Let's go before the Chesire Cat realizes you stole his smile."

I happily walked along side her all the while making mock kissy faces at her.

High school.

Everyone forgot to mention to me that in high school Riley and I wouldn't have every class together.

Second period English was one of those classes.

I found myself lightly sketching in complete disregard as to what was going on in class. The motions came naturally to me, as did the concentration that entailed me to be drawing.

"Maya? Earth to Maya."

"Hey Short Stack, that's a pretty good portrait." I finally allowed my gaze to travel up as the duo began to hover over me.

I lightly glared at the couple.

"You sure know how to ruin a girl's concentration you know that guys?"

Smackle inched herself closer to me to get a better look at my drawing.

"Negative. I assure you Maya, you have Dreamboat down to a T." I paused at the comment and began to nod a thanks in utter confusion.

"Smackle-" Lucas warned.

I watched as Smackle looked up from my drawing and cocked her neck to the side while making eye contact with Ranger Rick. A small smile tugged at her lips as she awkwardly waved at him.

"Well look at him," she began.

If they weren't so endearing I think I would have laughed at Ranger Rick's reaction. His eyes narrowed into slits, his head tilt a little to the side and his right eyebrow cocked up in response. His hand found hers as he turned towards her desk. His fingers caressed hers, before sliding his fingers through hers and holding her hand entirely. Smackle's eyes had followed Lucas' actions. She was still unsure of how to be in a relationship, but that was never a problem for him. She finally brought herself back and looked at her boyfriend. The enamor in her eyes perplexed me. She took her free hand and covered his hand that was holding hers.

"Look at you." She smiled rubbing from their hands, to his arm.

"No Smackle, look at us."

I could've vomited. I suddenly felt like I was intruding when they were the ones who began to invade on me and my space. I finally took a look at what I had been working on for the past hour. I sat back in my chair and let my pencil fall on my desk.

Dreamboat, indeed.

Joshua Matthews was not staring at me, he was looking down, smiling, with an almost coy look to him.

I bit my lip as I recalled the exact moment this was.

 _I'm in it for the long game._

I shook the memory out of my head. I hadn't thought about my middle school _Josh appreciation_ years in well, years. What glorious times those were indeed. I chuckled at the memory of my younger self having no self control when he was around. I found myself tracing his smile with my fingers while remembering the previous night. I hadn't seen Josh in over a year. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thrilled to see him, even if for a fraction of a moment.

"Hey, Maya." My eyes looked over at Lucas and Smackle, who were now standing by the classroom door, hand in hand. Smackle's eyes were focused on Lucas and a small smile hovered over her lips. She slowly began to hug his arm and proceeded with placing her chin on his shoulder as he finished addressing me.

"You coming?" I glanced down at my drawing one last time before closing my sketchbook. I smiled brightly at the couple in response and shoved my sketchbook into my backpack.

"Wouldn't miss it."

I rode with Ranger Rick and Resident Einstein to one-of-many elementary schools in NYC. Today was the day Auggie and Ava had their beginning of the year play. It was a must-go event in the Matthews and Hunter household and you know how that goes, wherever Riley is Maya is too, and wherever Riley and Maya are the rest of the gang are there too. I was more than excited to go to this grade school play just to hang out with Riley. It turns out when her parents grounded her, they also meant grounding her from me. We would only see each other at school and when I'd walk her home after school.

"Maya! If you could wait for the truck to stop moving before jumping out of it, it would be greatly appreciated." Lucas deadpanned. I smirked at the sight of Ranger Rick as he jogged up to Smackle's door and opened it for her.

"Well, it's not my fault you are too slow Cowboy. Besides Riley's in there and I am starting to have Riley withdrawals." I shrugged moving my feet towards the school with the lovebirds following.

When we found them Farkle was right by her side, but not even he stood a chance.

"Riles!" I grinned as I ran towards her in full stride.

She discontinued her conversation with Farkle and averted her stare to the direction of my voice.

A lazy smiled graced her face. She opened up her arms just in time, as I hit her with a hug full force.

"Hey Peaches." Her giggle resonated in my ears as I gripped on to her petite frame.

"Do you really have to have a boyfriend to break curfew with? I don't think I enjoy you being grounded." I spoke into her hair.

"Hey!" Farkle gaped at us as he heard every word I said.

Riley laughed as she let me go.

"Hi, Riley. I couldn't stop her or even slow her down." She smiled over at Lucas and Smackle while she extended her arms to them.

They, one-by-one, greeted Riley.

"Where's Zay ?" She asked noticing his absence.

"He apologizes for being unable to attend, Riley." Smackle responded with a curt smile at the end.

Riley nodded her head and looked around at all of us with a small smile.

"Let's grab a seat then, huh?" She slid her arm through mine and lightly laid her head against my shoulder. We walked to the auditorium in silence, Farkle walking with Lucas and Smackle. I peeked a glance at Riley and noticed she was walking with her eyes closed.

"Riles?"

"Hmm?" She responded with her eyes still closed.

"Are you ok?" I abruptly stopped in front of the auditorium doors. Riley's head lifted from my shoulders. I glanced at the rest of the group silently asking them to enter without us. Farkle hesitated for a minute while at the door, and took one look back at us before heading in.

She watched Farkle, in what seemed like confusion before she took another look at me. She forced a smile and a chuckle right before she grabbed my hand and pulled me through the doors.

"I'm just tired Peaches."

We sat down front and center of the stage. Riley next to Farkle, and I next to Riley. I watched her as she yawned and rested her head now against Farkle's shoulder. I watched as Farkle smiled at the action and I also watched when his eyes met mine in one of concern. The same questions ringing through my head I'm sure have been ringing through his.

Why would Riley be this tired? She only goes to school and back home. Before she would go to school, come out, and she would be fine. What wasn't she telling us?

"Hey, is this seat taken?" I swallowed at the recognition of the interruption of my thoughts.

Joshua Matthews and his smile that illuminated his slender face. At a loss for words, I shook my head slowly.

He sat down at my response and I suddenly reverted back into that 12 year old girl who couldn't think logically around him. I forced myself to look forward and not at him. I swallowed nervously, and began to rub my hands against my jeans.

"So, it's- it's been a while?" I snuck a look at him from the corner of my eye and smiled slightly. He was running his fingers through his hair.

I looked down at my hands and smiled.

"Sure has." I smiled over at him to find him already smiling at me. It really had been quite a while since we've actually interacted. We stayed that way for a while. Him looking at me, me looking at him until finally the MC of the production began to address the crowd and the lights began to dim. I smiled one last time at him before giving my attention to Auggie's school production.

If you asked me that night what the play was about I wouldn't be able to tell you because the entire night I feigned interest. I was solely focused on how every few minutes I could feel his eyes on me and how alive that made me feel.

If you asked me about that night I wouldn't be able to recall to you my worries leading up to the play. My worries over Riley. If there was one thing Joshua Matthews was good at it was turning me into putty and making my brain and heart alike do all sorts of back-flips, front-flips, you name it. Josh had a way of making me forget, when maybe forgetting was the last thing I should be doing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Two things: I changed POVs this chapter and I know I said I'd update before the end of May, but mother nature decided to hit me early, haha! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was thinking in my head that there's no way I'm going to wrap this up with only three chapters, so this one is more than likely going to have about five parts.**

 **I just have to say I think I have the best readers anyone could possibly ask for. Your responses give my story life, literally. It's nice to know that you aren't bad at what you love to do, and people love your work almost as much as you love doing it. Your responses and reactions to the story almost always help me decide where to take my stories. I'm definitely not one of those writers who knows what the final outcome of the story will be, so I like to take some ideas from what you guys leave for me. You should know which movie/book this is based off of by the end of this chapter.**

 **As always I don't own any of the characters, etc.**

"Earth to Maya," Zay's hand waved in front of Maya's unaware face and finally settled his own face mere inches from hers after not being able to elicit a response from her. His eyes narrowed in curiosity, his hands slowly reached the sides of her head, and his fingers gradually inched their way to her golden locks. He smirked and ignored the sound of Farkle's laugh. He could not become distracted by the other boy who he knew was watching him. Both of Zay's hands gripped on to a chunk of Maya's hair on either side of her head and he began to twirl the pieces erratically.

"Honey Nugget!"

Farkle doubled over in laughter as he watched Zay scare Maya out of whatever trance she was in. It just wasn't that Maya was scared out of it, oh no, it was that Zay's face was so close to Maya's that when she jumped into attention her head knocked into his which caused him to fall over in pain. Except his fingers were still very much tangled into Maya's hair and he took her down with him.

Maya laid on top of a breathless Zay and giggled at the situation.

"What the hell Zay?" Her laugh penetrated the air as a groan escaped from her accompanied fallen friend.

"What the hell she says. Twirl my hair and call me Honey Nugget she says. It'll be fun she says." The blonde beauty began to untangle Zay from her luscious locks. After his tangled mess of what we call limbs were freed from her hair she lifted the top portion of her body and looked him square in the eyes.

"Listen here Babineaux. It got you back Vanessa did it not? It only solidified our friendship. I mean I just don't let anyone twirl my hair." She winked playfully at the boy and pushed herself off the ground completely offering him her arm.

"Yeah, yeah," his arm grasped hers and together they had him on his feet, "what's got you in crazy la-la land anyway? This is-what the third time today?"

Maya quickly averted her gaze downwards and could feel the heat rush to her face.

"Well, Zay, if my calculations are correct-they normally are- you'll find that Maya's daydreaming began exactly one week ago." Farkle stepped in with utmost confidence that he knew exactly what had Maya living in the clouds. He had his hands tucked behind his back and circled them as if they were prey.

"Farkle-" Maya began.

"And what may you ask took place exactly one week ago you may ask Mr. Babineaux?" Farkle's feet came to a stop as he planted himself next to Zay and across from Maya. His hand found Zay's shoulder and his smile met Maya's glare.

"Wasn't that, hey wasn't that Auggie's play thing that I couldn't make it to?" Zay clapped Farkle's chest grinning mischievously at Maya.

Maya rolled her eyes at the pair in feign annoyance.

"Oh, but Zay, that's not the only play that was showing that night." Farkle laughed as he tossed his arm completely around Zay's shoulder.

"No?" Zay looked from Farkle to Maya and back to Farkle.

"No, as a matter of fact, I believe it was the encore that Maya rather enjoyed was it not, Maya?"

Maya laughed in exasperation at her two friends.

"You two are unbelievable." She muttered biting the inside of her cheek.

"And what was the name of the encore Mr. Minkus?" Zay questioned further as he wrapped his arm around Farkle's lower back.

Farkle's smile beamed as he was thrilled by the question.

"The Long Game," he whispered with a casual look over at Maya.

Zay whistled, impressed while he took another look at Farkle, but gradually averted his stare to Maya.

"You were in Matthews land? Really? Honey Nugget I'm hurt." Zay took control of his hands and placed them over his heart. Maya couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips and shook her head.

She stepped between the two boys and slid her arm through theirs.

"Can we talk about this later? Be gentleman and walk me to class?" She dragged them off the courtyard and into the halls of their high school.

"So, we don't get any juicy details on _someday_?" Zay bumped her with his hip.

Maya smiled at Zay before she looked down and bit her lip.

"There's nothing to tell."

Maya was oblivious to the knowing looks the boys gave each other over Maya's head because there was definitely something to tell.

Maya rolled her lip between her teeth.

Definitely something to tell.

 _"Josh you don't have-" His eyes roamed over her face slowly. His fingers lightly grazed her arms as he placed his leather jacket on her. The heavy material weighted on Maya's petite frame, but she reveled in the wonderful aroma that surrounded her-him. Her eyes shut as she hugged the jacket closer to her body while her head tilted slightly to the left in hopes of catching a stronger whiff of the jacket, of Josh._

 _"I don't have to, but I want-" His arms dropped to his sides and his voice caught in his throat at the sight of Maya hugging his jacket closer to her body. Her lips were pulled into a peaceful smile and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. His body moved on its own accord. He couldn't help it. He had no idea what he was doing until he was doing it. He was already close to her, but somehow ended up toe-to-toe with her. His fingers delicately wrapped around her neck and pulled her hair out from the inside of the jacket, while his hands lingered around her, on her._

 _She had stopped breathing. Joshua Matthews appeared to be_ caressing _her. His touch left her in fervor with every trail he drew and her stomach blazed in ardor. She could feel his ragged breath coating her own breathing space. She sucked in a slow breath before she finally opened her eyes._

 _"Thanks."_

 _His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he stared into the bright blue eyes that belonged to Maya Hart. He responded with an elongated nod of his head. His eyes never left hers as he released an unsure breath while his hands somehow enveloped her neck and his thumb lightly traced the outline of her jaw._

 _Maya internally screamed with excitement an d anticipation. She gently covered one of Josh's hands with her own and leaned into his touch. She was committing this moment forever into her memory._

Maya couldn't stop smiling. Just the thought of the young man made her giggle, that or hysterical, like the hyenas in the Lion King kind of hysterical. She shook her head at the thought and attempted to hide her smile in her hands.

"You know Peaches," Maya glanced up as the sound of Riley's voice rang through her ears, "I just have to say I don't think I've seen you smile this much since-" Riley's face contorted in thought and then realization. She let a knowing smile overtake her face before she addressed her best friend once more.

"-ever, Maya. Ever. Peaches." Riley sat down at her rightful desk in front of Maya, turned around, and took Maya's hands in her own.

"Is it a boy?" Riley asked using her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know what ever you are taking about Riles." Maya laughed as she diverted her stare and bit her lip in hopes of covering her smile.

Riley hopped her bottom on her chair repeatedly in excitement.

"It is! Do I know him? Is he in our grade? Is he cute? When do I get to meet him?!"

Maya squeezed Riley's hands for her to settle down.

"Yes, no, duh, and I don't know." Maya drawled out with an unsure grin.

"Maya, I have to meet him! As your best friend I must approve!" Riley withdrew her hands and covered her heart.

"Riles, you are such a drama queen." Maya let out a small laugh as she watched her best friend scandalize the situation.

The bell began to ring signifying Maya's interrogation being over. It had taken a while for Maya and Riley to become accustomed to other teaching methods besides Mr. Matthews'. They'd talk when they could, and when they couldn't wait they'd get detention. Maya was reading the text that was assigned and taking notes at the same time. She rolled her eyes as Riley ever so slyly placed a piece of paper on her desk. Maya set down her pencil and picked up the folded paper carefully, making sure she was making minimal noise.

 **When was the last time you've seen him?**

Maya smiled at Riley's question and stored the piece of paper in the back of her text book.

A week ago, she thought.

 _Josh had came to his senses before Maya had. He coughed and pulled his hands back to his sides._

 _"We should get you home, huh?" He muttered in a barely whisper._

 _Maya sighed missing his presence as soon as he pulled away._

 _"I guess we should." She replied still staring into his eyes._

 _They walked along side each other almost in silence and didn't pick up a conversation until they were both on the subway._

 _"How's school?" His hands unwillingly rubbed his jeans in nerves._

 _She shrugged next to him in addition to her words, "It's going okay. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to graduate next year."_

 _"So, if you're excited to graduate why do you seem uh-worried?" Josh observed her change in posture in her answer._

 _"Worried? What makes you say that?" She deflected unsure of what to say._

 _"Maya-" Josh began._

 _"I'm failing English!" Maya blurted. Her eyes widened at her confession and she looked over at Josh sheepishly._

 _"I'm failing English and I can't afford to fail anymore classes." She admitted finally voicing what had been on her mind in the denial pile._

 _"Maya," she felt his hand on her knee and looked up to see him smiling at her, "you do know one of my majors is English right? Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could tutor you."_

 _"What? Why are you making that face for?" He asked confused at her reaction._

 _"I just don't like the word tutor." She ran her hands through her hair in nervousness._

 _Josh's chuckled delighted her ears and she finally looked over at him._

 _"Fine. We can just hang out- with books and your homework." She beamed at the older boy and nodded. Her ears perked up at the sound of her stop arriving soon. She leaned forward and shrugged off his leatherjacket. Her hand intertwined with his hand that was placed on her knee. She placed the jacket in his hand and smiled._

 _"At Topanga's then?"_

 _"Sure." He replied staring at Maya as she stood up and stood by the door._

 _"You know Boing I may be failing English, but my TV watching, and movie knowledge is quite vast." Josh smirked at the blonde before him._

 _"I bet."_

 _She rolled her eyes at his response and smiled._

 _"So, we can 'hang-out' on one condition." She narrowed her eyes at him and he tilted his head towards her in anticipation of the condition._

 _"You have to promise you won't fall in love with me." She smirked letting her eyes roam over the details of Josh's face. Confusion swept over him. His eyes searched hers for no longer than a minute before he looked at his hands between his legs. All jokes aside she almost caved with teasing him until he let out a strained laugh._

 _"That's not a problem." He awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair and smiled one last time at Maya before the doors opened and she had to leave._

 _Maya stepped out of the subway and stepped behind the designated line. Her eyes caught Josh's and watched his face fall as the subway continued its course. She didn't move from that spot for a while and the only thing that ran through her head was his last words to her._

 _'No Josh,' she thought, 'it was supposed to be.'_


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello, beautiful, beautiful people.**

 **So, it's been about five or six months, roughly. I haven't forgotten about updating. As a matter of fact, I still have been writing quite a bit of Josh and Maya just not for this particular story line I'm working on. Which, by the way is ridiculous because I can visually see where I'm meant to take this one, but it's been difficult putting it on paper. Sigh, anyways. I re read your guys' reviews and I forced myself to sit down and hash out this chapter because you all deserve it darn it!**

 **That being said I hope you enjoy this chapter. Juicy stuff coming up in the following chapters I tell you! I'm purposely not telling you what happens in those study sessions, yet. To all the new people to my drabbles, welcome! I'm glad you don't have to wait that long for this one, lol. So, like always I don't own GMW or the characters, I don't own the lyrics used, or the movie this is based on! Leave me your thoughts on this because I love your guys' opinions. They make me happy!**

"Ms. Hart." I swallowed the nerves the crept up my throat and nodded toward Mrs. Darcy. Her expression was unreadable as she stood by my desk calculatingly. While still looking at me, she grabbed the next piece of paper from her stack and placed it on my desk.

"B+." Her hand squeezed my shoulder as she smiled softly at me.

"Well done."

I let out a breath of relief. My hands hesitated in grabbing the test. She obviously must have given me someone else's test. I stared in disbelief. Fingers curled around the edges of the test with the name Maya Hart written clearly on the top right hand side I allowed myself to smile.

Joshua Matthews worked wonders.

Before the thought could finish forming in my head my cellphone vibrated twice indicating a message. I looked around and decided it was safe to pull out the device.

 _So?_

I grinned happily as I read the message.

 _So._

The reply was almost instantaneous and I couldn't stifle the overwhelming joy that pitted in a pool in my stomach.

 _Maya._

I don't think my cheeks could take anymore grinning, but I couldn't stop it.

 _Josh_.

I chuckled silently to myself, while I rolled my bottom right lip between my teeth. These past few weeks have been perfect, Josh has been perfect and maybe he doesn't like me and will never fall in love with me, but I am a sucker for wanting what I can't have. As of right now though just having Josh around was all I wanted. I've felt lighter these past few weeks with him around like the weight of the world isn't all resting on my shoulders. I've felt happier.

 _I know you got the test back already Hart._

He knows my schedule. He remembered my schedule. I sighed in content at how attentive he was even when he wasn't near me. My inner 14 year old threatened to seep her way through.

 _We were having a one-worded conversation Matthews._

I wasn't even able to put down my phone.

 _Your grade, Maya_.

"Ms. Hart."

I dropped my phone on my desk in response to hearing Mrs. Darcy addressing me. A grimace spread across my face while guilty eyes connected with Mrs. Darcy's. A mere calculative glare from her was enough to get me to stuff my phone into my backpack without a second thought. Long gone was the Maya who broke rules, apparently. The rest of the class went on without another evil stare thrown my way. I found myself zoning out and just looking out the window the rest of the period. I pretty much did that with every class until lunch actually. By the time lunch rolled around relief flooded through me. Classes weren't exactly the apple of my eye.

I began to roam the halls in search of my friends. I did a quick once over of the hall I was in before moving on to the next one. I walked for about ten minutes before spotting Farkle.

"Hey, Minkus!" I yelled gripping my backpack closer to my shoulder. His head turned at the sound of his name and his goofy smile spread happily across his face.

"Hey, Riley or Maya." A laugh escaped my lips while I rolled my eyes.

"Speaking of, where is miss-soon-to-be-Farkle-Minkus?" I asked quickly surveilling the area for our favorite brunette. A small smile ghosted over Farkle's lips as his eyes retreated from reality for a few seconds. He cleared his throat and shrugged.

"She was with Zay looking for you actually," my left eyebrow rose in response, "apparently you told Zay you'd help him prep for his Julliard audition."

As the words left his mouth, I bounced into action.

"Where are you going?!"

"Maya!"

I ran down the hall and yelled a response out to Farkle, "I have to help Zay! I'll see you!"

I ran through almost every hall, scanning each one and each face with vigilance without any luck finding Riley or Zay. I paused for a breath as my mind started accumulating different places they'd be.

Zay needed help for his Julliard audition.

His Julliard audition where he had found he didn't just wanted to dance.

He wanted to act, to sing, and to dance.

My feet began to move quickly, my body slammed into other people who yelled at me in response, while I paid no mind.

I rounded the corner and slowed down to a walk. I paused outside the door and took a few breaths before I decided to pull it open, the door to the auditorium. I groaned in exasperation and flung my backpack on one of the many chairs in the room, this empty room-no Riley, no Zay. I plopped down on a chair next to my backpack and came to a decision that I'd help Zay after school. I stood up again and was about to leave when the sound of multiple piano keys made me jump. Startled, I turned.

Normal people would have glanced back and left, but it wasn't in my nature. My bag rested against the floor of the stage while I walked on to it. I found myself next to the piano, in a crouch to retrieve the item that fell on the piano keys. A chuckle escaped my lips. A candelabra. With the item still in my hand I stood and turned to the piano. A sense of longing prickled at my insides. I gently placed the candelabra back on top of the piano and tugged on the end of my shirt. I swallowed my nerves and slowly ran my fingertips along the surface of the piano keys. My eyes closed on their own accord at the feel of the piano and I sighed in satisfaction. Zay had taught me a few things here and there with music and I hated showing how much I actually enjoyed it. I scanned the old piano once more and noticed a piece of music resting along it.

 **Beauty and the Beast  
A Change in Me**

I didn't really realize what I was doing, but that didn't stop me from instinctually doing it. I closed my eyes at the memory that popped into my mind.

"Riley, alls they dos is sings." Five-year old me had her arms crossed in front of her chest, a frown on her babyish face, and a beaming best friend.

"Buts Maya! Her dress is yellows likes yous hairs! She's soooo perty!" Riley bounced from wall to wall singing along to Beauty and the Beast.

I was always interested in the arts, obviously right? Maya the painter.

Singing, singing was different. It was a guilty pleasure I didn't know I had.

So, I stood there and a soft hum soon became me singing to a lone piano with one hand hovering above the lyrics other holding the sheet of paper.

 **There's been a change in me  
A kind of moving on  
Though what I used to be  
I still depend on  
For now I realize  
That good can come from bad  
That may not make me wise  
But oh it makes me glad**

 **And I-I never thought I'd leave behind  
My childhood dreams  
But I don't mind  
For now I love the world I see  
No change of heart a change in me.**

The last notes I sang hung in the air, speaking to me in their absence. Had I really never liked Beauty and the Beast?

I placed the sheet of music back where it belonged and decided that I should go. I turned around to head off the stage when I stopped abruptly.

"Josh?" I croaked. Embarrassment flooded through me.

He didn't say anything, not for a while. He was just leaning against the doorway in his trademark leather jacket and black beanie. I was paralyzed for a moment unsure of what to do. I couldn't look away from him, and he hasn't looked away from me. I don't even think he's blinked yet. I was burning under his stare and the hair on my arms stood in the most pleasurable way at the intensity of it and yet the softness of it as well.

"I was just fooling around. I didn't know anyone was here-let alone you, I'm sorry you had to hear that." I internally kicked myself at the way he makes me lose my grip. I stormed off the stage and rushed towards my backpack. My mind was in a scramble. All I could hear was the blood rushing between my ears at how Joshua Matthews the Uncle Boing had caught me singing.

"Maya-" I jumped at the touch of his hand on my elbow. He tugged on my arm until I begrudgingly turned his way.

"Why are you sorry?" I have blue eyes. I don't know how I can still be mesmerized by the blue of other people's eyes, or maybe it was just his. The darker undertones of his eyes shone brighter than I could describe, but they excited me, scared me, and calmed me all in one. It definitely had to be just his. I looked down at his hand that still lingered on my arm.

"I'm not very good. It's-"

He began to chuckle. I couldn't stop the glare or the rush of heat on my cheeks.

"You're serious?" He spoke with a smile in response to my glare.

"It's not funny Josh. It's embarrassing." I muttered picking up my backpack.

"Hey. Maya-" He grabbed my backpack from my hand and slung it over his shoulder.

"You really have no idea how amazing you are, you know that?" He spoke softly, still with a smile, but in a more intimate way. His free hand, hesitantly so, lightly grazed my forehead and pushed my hair back behind my ear. The heat in my body increased ten fold. His hand rested on my shoulder on its way down and I had to swallow down the sigh that threatened to escape at the comfort of his touch.

"Your voice is just as gorgeous as the rest of you."

I could have died and lived contently under Josh's touch, sincerity, and gaze. I wasn't embarrassed by the compliment. On the contrary, my heart was swelling with content and my body was all sorts of aware with his proximity- his hand still on my shoulder, his breath intertwining with mine, his lips mere inches away. I was obvious. When have I never been upfront with my affections for him? My attraction towards him?

I responded by looking in his eyes and then by looking at his lips, while licking my own. I saw his slight intake of breath and felt his fingers grip just a little bit tighter on my shoulder. I watched as his Adam's Apple bobbed up in down, in nerves or anticipation I wouldn't be able to say. So, I looked back up at him still watching me.

"What are you doing here Josh?" I managed to whisper tugging on my lip with my teeth.

He cleared his throat uneasily and dropped his hand from my shoulder.

"You didn't reply." My right eyebrow slowly lifted.

"To my text message. Your test." The smile was a slow one, but it got bigger and bigger as I looked at how embarrassed he was getting at my smiling.

"You came all the way down here to see how I did on my test?"

"Ugh. Can we not make this a big deal?" Josh rubbed his hands over his face in exasperation. I laughed at his expense.

"Ok."

He removed his hands from his face.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"So, how'd you find me?" I asked curiously.

"You told me yesterday that you were going to help Zay today during your lunch. I figured this was the only place he could practice." Josh answered looking around at the auditorium.

"I guess I was wrong?" Josh questioned in amusement.

The initial shock of him actually recalling our conversation that was just casually mentioned died down fairly quickly as I heard him laughing.

I nodded in agreement.

"You and I both." I smiled. I walked around him and opened up my backpack to take out my test. He stood still as he waited for me to finish up with my backpack. I hopped right in front of him with my test behind my back. I beamed up at him.

"You remember our deal?"

He narrowed his eyes at me playfully.

"You mean that one-sided deal you made with yourself in front of me?"

"You know Boing, if you want to see the test…" I let my thoughts hang in the air as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. We stood in a staring match before he sighed with a smile thrown at the end.

"Fine. You win!" He said as he let his arms fall.

I squealed in delight and carefully changed the position of my test from behind me to in front of me and in front of Josh. Josh has always made me feel things differently with him than with anyone else, but this emotion was different. His eyes lit up as did his smile, with pride. Pride for me. My heart soared.

"An 89! Maya, that's great!" He exclaimed opening his arms. Call it for old times sake, but I literally jumped on him. He caught me which he normally does, but we stumbled. We fell back and I chuckled as Josh grimaced.

"Someone needs to hit the gym." I winked at him and poked his bicep.

His smile wasn't as bright at this joke, he didn't actually seem very amused. He seemed caught of guard, maybe even frustrated. And if I wasn't so observant on all things Joshua Matthews, maybe I wouldn't have noticed the lines of worry that lined his forehead.

"I'll take that into account." He said winded as he pulled us both up.

I grinned at the man in front of me in all of his perfectness and gave him an unexpected hug that he soon reciprocated. The bottom of his chin found the top of my head, and his arms found the small of my back and we stood like that for what seemed like an eternity, and yet it still wasn't long enough.

"Thank you, Josh." I spoke just loud enough for him to hear me. He didn't say anything, but I took the way his thumb was slowly caressing me as response enough.

I lifted my head from under his chin, looked up at him, and like always he was already looking at me.

"So, about that date." I whispered looking directly at his mouth, then his eyes and back again.

I could feel his heartbeat as I'm sure he could feel mine. His eyes dropped to my lips and stayed there. He nodded his head slowly.

"Yeah, about that da-" He didn't finish that sentence.

His lips pressed against mine and mine pressed against his.

It was overwhelming and not enough all at once.

It was all I'd had imagined it to be and more.

And if I wasn't already embarrassed with Josh hearing me sing, I'd definitely be embarrassed from the moans that escaped my mouth just from him kissing me, but right now I could care less.

Joshua Matthews was kissing me.


	15. Chapter 15

**So, I have a tumblr like most people in a fandom or most people in general. I'm pretty much shipper trash, anyway it has come to my attention via tumblr that there are quite a few people who don't like fanfics that are in first person. I have never, not once thought about this. Sure, I've ran into cringe-worthy first person fics before, but this has never dawned on me as a potential problem for my readers. What do you guys think? No first person and strictly third? I normally use both interchangeably story to story, but I'd like to hear what you guys think. You all are, after all, the reason why I keep writing.**

 **Also, we are going full throttle this chapter because it's probably the second to last chapter, there's not much story line, but I had to set up some groundwork. It's also relatively short because the next one will be very long. Anyhow, Enjoy!**

 **P.S. I really wanted to do this in third person. My heart was screaming at me to do it in third, but I want everyone to understand pain, Maya's in particular. Also, I was feeling rather melancholy while writing this chapter and I'm sure you'll notice. Sorry!**

"Maya?" Riley's voice echoed off of the near empty hallways and into my ears. Her voice was laced with both suffering and hesitance as she approached me. I swallowed my anger unable to look at her or anyone for that matter. I stilled in my chair as I felt her presence on the chair next to mine.

"Peaches?" It was a desperate whisper this time and as her hand attempted to touch my shoulder I flinched away. I heard her suck in a breath. My eyes were trained on the ground.

"Please talk to me Maya."

I had been biting on my lip. I didn't realize it until the taste of metallic pierced my taste buds. I let out an uneasy breath and finally looked at her. Her head hung low while her fingers were mindlessly playing with each other. It was the most odd picture. A normally composed Riley, a Riley who generally folds her hands in composure was now unraveling her hands. She was unraveling. I sat there, my eyes now on her and scrutinized her. It was through prolonged minutes of fidgeting that her eyes finally came into contact with mine that I steeled myself. I refused to react to her tear-filled eyes.

"How long?" I don't think she was prepared for how hollow my voice was going to sound. How _dead_ I sounded. On some level I don't even think I was expecting to sound that way.

Her eyebrows came together, her nose scrunched, and her lips waivered all the while her head shook.

"I-I. You-you don't unders-"

"I understand Riley!" I snapped as she flinched back at my sudden outburst of anger. I was no longer sitting beside her, but standing over her.

"I understand that I'm covered in my boyfriend's blood! In _your_ uncle's blood!." I finally looked at myself, my blood-stained clothes, and the sense of panic finally began to bubble itself to the surface.

I gasped in as much air as I could unable to stop the wail that escaped my mouth. My fingers combed themselves through my hair in uncertainty.

"We were just- and then he started coughing. Coughing _blood_ and then he just, he fell. And I-I." I crumbled. My feet buckled from under me and Riley sat on the floor with me, hugging me, as I cried. I let her hug me for a minute before anger built up in me again.

"You knew." I spat at her. She knew and she didn't tell me.

"You've known Riley and you didn't think to tell me?!" Riley shook her head again in defense, tears now falling down her face mirroring mine.

"I tried to get him to tell you Maya-" She cried bringing her knees to her chest.

My head violently shook disregarding her answer.

"You are supposed to be my best friend!"

She stood silent, gaping at me.

"I am your best friend."

I stood up wiping my face in a hurry.

"Then you would have told me that the boy I love is dying." Her stare was dejected, she was unable to meet my harsh gaze anymore. She placed her head in her hands and cried. I left her.

I've never had anything against hospitals. Everyone I've ever cared about has been in relatively good shape, that is until now. I tugged at my blonde strands as to control the pain I was feeling. I stopped in front of his room and took a ragged breath in hopes of calming my fear. He had been stabilized hours ago, I just hadn't been to see him. It took me at least ten minutes to work up the strength to open the door and when I did I was greeted by every Matthews I had ever met not that I saw any of them, any of them besides one, who even in his condition still managed to be looking at me with concern rather than be concerned for himself.

I was frozen in front of the door. I was no longer angry. I was just scared. Scared for Joshua Matthews. I didn't notice everyone leave, but they did.

"Maya?" I blinked rapidly as his melodic voice embraced me to my core, but no matter how sweet the sound the underlying weakness of his voice also enveloped me. Tears threatened to spill over and I had to look away from him.

"Maya, if you don't come sit next to me I will get out of this bed. My doctors would have a field day with that one." I choked up a tear filled laugh at his empty threat.

"You wouldn't dare." I was surprised at how normal that sounded coming out of me and as I looked back over at him he had sat up and was beginning to throw his feet around the bed.

"Hey!" I yelled rushing over to his side.

"Don't be stupid Josh!" I pushed his legs back on to the bed and glared at him.

He smiled and I internally scolded myself for not noticing the significant amount of weight that he has dropped since we started seeing each other.

"Maybe I need a tutor?" He chuckled intertwining his hand in mine while gently pulling me to sit next to him on the bed.

"How can you be joking about this?" I whispered looking up at him. His Adam's Apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. His thumb slowly caressed my bottom lip actively stopping me from biting down on it any further.

"You're going to hurt yourself." His hand stayed pressed on my cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth. I wanted to vomit.

"You're already hurt." I whispered unable to stop my tears as I rested my hand on top of his. We stood like that in silence for a few seconds just being hyper aware of each other.

"I'm sick." I nodded unable to form any coherent words. I could feel his fingers shaking ever so slightly against my skin.

"We kept it a secret because I didn't want anybody to be weird around me." He attempted to pull back his hand, but I held on harder.

"Including me?" I cracked unable to believe what he was saying. He paused, his eyes wide and misted. He stared and trembled in my touch.

"Especially you! You know, I was getting along with everything fine. I accepted it, and then you happened!" The weight of his words rested on my chest as I dejectedly removed my hand from his. I wasn't this person, but I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes either. I bowed my head down and let my hair cascade around me, so he couldn't see the effect he had on me.

"No, Maya that's not-" I shook my head quickly swallowing any uncertainty in my voice before I spoke.

"Don't Josh. It's ok." I went to stand still refusing to look at him, but his hand shot out to grab my arm and he gently tugged me back towards him.

"Hey," I focused my eyes at the corner of the wall behind him instead of meeting his stare. He placed his thumb on my chin and forced my stare. I hadn't noticed the pink that tinged his eyes before now and it only brought me more pain, knowing that he was in pain. He looked my face up and down and ran both of his hands down my hair, stopping at my neck. He cupped my neck and pulled my face the rest of the way to meet his.

This kiss was soft, wet, and brief. It was, however, one of the most emotionally demanding kisses I've ever experienced. After mere seconds he pulled back just slightly, his breath might as well have been mine. The proximity of his lips intoxicated me, but the weight of my tears only served as a reminder. His lips kissed the side of my mouth first, and then gradually he made his way down my jaw line, here was the man I love-sick and still kissing me, consoling me. His final kiss was at the nape of my neck and I shuddered as I felt his tongue softly press against my skin. He remained there as he wrapped his arms around me and cried.

"I was never afraid to die Maya." He said as he clutched on to me tighter.

"I'm still not afraid to die." My eyes slammed shut. I couldn't hear this, but he held me tighter and tighter with each word.

"I'm afraid to be without you."

I woke up in his hospital bed, his arms still around me. He was sleeping blissfully next to me and I had never hated the world more than what I did now. This perfect human being, _my_ perfect human being, was dying. I blinked back the tears and traced the outlines of his facial features. As I was tracing his lips his hand caught mine and he laughed, kissing my hand.

"That was probably the most erotic wake up call." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I chuckled as a blush crept up my cheeks. Since when did Joshua Matthews make me blush? I pushed my hands through his hair and forced myself forward, pushing him on his back. He laid between my thighs, and my chest rested against his. My hands trailed down the length of his arms, capturing his hands in mine. I began to guide his hands off the bed as I stared at his deep, blue eyes and merely hovered over his lips.

"I think we can come up with much more fun, erotic things." I internally smirked at the disbelief that crossed his face and the increase in pulse that I both felt, and could hear from the very distant beeping of a machine.

I finally placed his hands on my ass and forced his fingers to squeeze. I watched him groan, and felt his excitement underneath me. I crashed my lips on to his and suppressed the moan that escaped from his mouth.


End file.
